Time to fly

It’s a warm July evening and I walk out onto the 16th floor balcony.  The view of the sunset is mesmerizing and I paint a picture in the deep tones to suit my mood.  Beneath me the hustle and bustle of town life becomes hard to zone out.  And then I realize I’m right there, in between the two.  I’m in between two lives, one I have to leave behind and the one I’m about to step into.

When did I reach this point? When did the mere thought of me being alone become a reality?  I’ve learned a lot lately, things don’t always turn out the way you plan in your head.  Some things stay broken, they can’t be fixed and put back together. You can’t change people, they must want to make the change themselves.  Sometimes silence is the best answer.  Nothing lasts forever. 

Life just happens. We all make mistakes but should we remain prisoners of those errors? Time heals you, or at least somewhat but the experiences, they are what make you.  Some chapters don’t need to be revisited but most chapters need to be read again just so you understand that closing the book doesn’t mean it’s forgotten, it doesn’t mean it’s the end. It simply means you have to move on. I let out a deep sigh, not of relief but rather acceptance. It is now, whatever it is.

Just like you need the sun to rise everyday, one also needs to be loved each day and to love. Every person deserves love. Is true love just an illusion, a fragment of our imagination? Does everyone get a chance? Broken pieces of a torched soul can only be put together by love. Simple hugs mend feelings don’t they? I don’t even have that. I don't know when I realized I didn't have the love I needed.

As I look below, I see the rat race that I’ve been accustomed to, the deadlines, the appointments, the million of things that need to be dealt with, the never ending.  Life ends but this, this will carry on. This life will change you, with each year, you mature, things get replaced. Pain changes you, success changes you. People leave, ones you thought would be there forever, they suddenly become guests to another world. When they leave, you learn, time doesn’t stand still for anyone. Time passes whether you are on cloud nine or you are mourning your very existence. 

The sun sets finally and my thoughts with it. I look ahead of me as a flock of birds dance by. Everyone needs to fly, to spread their wings and glide. Everyone is entitled to a life where they can be themselves and live it to the fullest. I got lost somewhere down below and now it’s time to look above and fly, to start a new chapter, to find myself.